His shoes were worn out and stained with mud, but that didn't discourage him from continuing to walk in search of His light. Every moment, he struggled against his own ego. The shadow of his sinful self made him cry uncontrollably when he was alone with his God. Sometimes, his desires won over him, arrogantly saying, “I am indeed great and worthy of being considered above other humans.” And in fact, he was slipping into his obvious misguidance. Small shirk began to grow in his soul. He was unaware that the abyss of darkness that would blind his heart was just a step away, right in front of him. That is the result of following the voice of the devil to taint his thoughts and deeds, whispering continuously in his heart. The knowledge of self-control is indeed not easy to practice; it takes a lifetime to successfully learn it. Even until the end of his life, man still struggles with whispers that seem to challenge God's power. The trial given to him felt heavy to endure, to the point of disturbing his soul. This is due to a lack of sincerity in accepting God's destiny. Arrogantly, he walks on the earth as if all the plans he has meticulously devised in his mind are the best path in life. In reality, all his plans are rubbish; even rubbish can be recycled into something useful. If he continues to resist his destiny, it is certain that he will be filled with deep regret. However, as a person of dignity, he must not drown in regret, for it may be a sign that His mercy has come, if he returns to seek His pleasure.
Sepatu yang hampir usang dan sedikit warna lumpur di ujungnya tak membuatnya berkecil hati untuk terus berjalan mencari titik cahaya-Nya. Di setiap waktu, ia berjuang melawan nafs atau egonya sendiri. Bayangan akan dirinya yang berlumuran dosa membuatnya ia menangis terisak-isak dikala sedang berkhalwat dengan Tuhannya. Terkadang, nafsu menang atas dirinya, dengan jumawa seakan berkata “Saya memang hebat dan layak diperhitungkan dibandingkan dengan manusia lain.” Dan sebenarnya ia sedang tergelincir akan kesesatannya yang nyata. Syirik kecil mulai tumbuh dalam jiwanya. Tak sadar bahwa jurang kegelapan yang mematikan mata hati tinggal selangkah lagi tepat di depannya. Itulah hasil dari mengikuti suara suara iblis untuk menodai pikiran dan perbuatan terus berbisik di hatinya. Ilmu menguasai diri sendiri memang tidak mudah dipraktekkan, butuh seumur hidup lamanya untuk bisa berhasil mempelajarinya. Bahkan sampai manusia tutup usiapun masih berperang dengan bisikan bisikan yang seakan menantang kuasa Tuhan. Ujian yang diberikan kepadanya terasa berat dilalui, sampai mengganggu jiwanya. Hal ini disebabkan tidak adanya keikhlasan menerima takdir Allah. Dengan congkaknya ia berjalan diatas tanah seakan-akan semua rencana yang telah ia rancang sedemikian rupa dalam pikiran dianggapnya adalah jalan hidup terbaik. Padahal semua rencananya adalah sampah, bahkan sampah saja masih bisa diolah kembali menjadi hal yang berguna. Apabila ia terus melawan takdirnya, maka bisa dipastikan seseorang itu akan berada dalam penyesalan yang amat pedih. Namun sebagai manusia yang bermartabat tidak boleh tenggelam dalam penyesalan, bisa jadi itu merupakan pertanda suatu rahmatNya telah datang, jika ia kembali untuk mencari ridhoNya.
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